so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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