I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my shit smells like andre
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
