I am in a vortex of obligation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
