try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
