I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
