I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
