My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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