Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
