She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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