You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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