i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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