My friends, they love my intelligence
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
