We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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