Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
