What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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