I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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