I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I said "one day" and that day is not today
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
