Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
why is half of my head shaved?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
