Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
