I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
