well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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