Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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