I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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