her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
