I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They took my balls.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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