so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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