Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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