She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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