i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
