I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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