he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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