we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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