fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
