how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
