Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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