I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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