Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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