Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
