I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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