I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
