I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
