I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
