Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
