so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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