just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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