found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
