I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I pour the whiskey from now on
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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