he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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