Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And then my night got REAL pukey
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
