I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
